A friend had written to me last year about a young mother who had died suddenly leaving behind a husband and two beautiful, very young children.  This morning another friend posted on Facebook about another young mother leaving behind a husband and three very young children, asking for prayers for the family.  Yes, we will absolutely pray for the family, but why do things like this happen in the first place?  Below is my friend’s email from last year along with my reply.  I hope it brings some comfort.


Hi Beth,

A friend of mine is struggling deeply trying to understand how a young mother of two children, one two-year-old and one newborn, died suddenly leaving the husband and the two children alone.

This mother was unlike any other.  Strong in faith, excellent compassion for everyone around her, completely devoted to her children and her husband.  The light of each of the family members’ lives.  This young woman had a blog.  The blog shows just a piece of everything she was and is so compelling.

My friend is struggling in her faith now because of this.  She’s been struggling for weeks. What can I do or say to her to help her see God’s light in this?  I feel like things happen like this often.  And I never know how to make sense of it.  It literally eats me away from the inside out. The children are just gorgeous.  And they’ve been stripped of what they needed most.

Is there anyway you could help me in this?


Hi hon,

I’m so sorry about this.  We truly do live in a war zone, a battlefield, a broken world.  This dear young mother was a casualty of war.  War is a horrible thing, but it’s all around us in a realm we don’t see.

The best message I’ve ever heard on this was given by a young mom who lost her little boy to a horrible disease (click on one of the video options under “sermon downloads” on the right side):  Triumph By Testimony  It absolutely astounds me that this mother can stand up and give such an eloquent message of hope.

The best book I’ve ever read on it is “The Shack“.  Actually, I didn’t read it.  I got it on CD from the library and had it all of last summer (2013).  It’s 6 or 7 hours long and I listened to it about 4 or 5 times over the course of the summer until the library made me give it back.  😦  What a beautiful picture of God.

Know that God loves all of His children, but He loves us too much for Him to MAKE us love Him back.  That would make us robots.  He wants true love and true love only comes with choice.  We can choose NOT to love Him and we can also choose to do horrible things.  Even when we think we’re choosing God, we can still choose against Him every day, as we judge each other, gossip, back-bite and argue.  Take that just a few steps further and the results are disastrous.  There is at least a piece of evil in each of us.  God can’t destroy all of the evil in the world, or He would have to destroy every one of us.

I think that’s what Jesus means about the wheat and weeds (Matt. 13).  He has to let the weeds grow with wheat or, when the weeds are pulled up, they will pull up the wheat too.  I think that’s our own hearts.  There is good and evil inside of each of us (wheat and weeds).  I think that’s what the sheep and the goats are about too (Matt. 25).  I’m not positive, but that’s what I’m beginning to think.  We have some sheep and some goat in each of us.  And when He destroys the goats, He’ll be burning up that part of us that choses to turn away from Him.  Purifying us.

I hope that helps.
Much love to you and to your friend!

PS God will provide what those babies need most.  They have lost their mother, but God has not lost His ability to provide for them.  Grab onto Romans 8:28 and hold on for dear life:  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

By the way, Romans 8:28 is for you and not necessarily for your friend.  Most hurting people really hate it when people throw scripture at them.  God did not kill that young mom and He didn’t “allow” it to happen because some greater good was going to come from it.  That would be the work of the devil, whose job description is to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10), not the work of God.

But God is definitely in the business of taking the bad and turning it into the best possible good.  He knows that the bad is out there and is going to happen. Jesus promised us in John 16:33: “In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”  I personally think that He’s holding back so much bad that never happens that we never know about.  But I can’t prove it.  I just have a sense about it.

But I wanted you to have the scripture for your own peace of mind.  Know that God is working.


With a heavy heart, I ask you to pray with me for these young families.  Know that your prayers are powerful and effective (James 5:16).  Please keep praying.  Thank you!


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