I came home to cook dinner, all by myself and feeling tired, worn down and rather discouraged. Nothing in particular wrong, just an unsettled feeling. Is what I’m doing really making a difference? Do I matter? Does God still speak? I haven’t heard him lately. I feel like I’ve been listening, but I’m just not getting anything.
I had been catching up on Wednesday night services while Jordan has been at day camp this week. I worked my way up to mid-June today and I turned on the “Vision Night” service while I started to cut up vegetables. Steve Norman quoted Alex McManus (Erwin’s brother) who said that “The gospel always comes to you on the way to someone else”. And then Steve said that we’re not buckets, but pipelines and I stopped mid-chop on my clove of garlic. What did he just say?
Alex McManus had done a workshop on his brother’s “Character Matrix” a few years back when he was on staff at Kensington. I had attended that workshop and I sat at a table with my friend Denise from the Clinton Twp campus. At one point in the workshop, Alex had us share something with the people at our table. I don’t remember what he wanted us to share, but I do remember that I had been thinking a lot about the word “conduit” back then. I shared with Denise and the others at the table that we weren’t buckets, but conduits or pipelines. We weren’t designed to be filled up and filled up and filled up, but we were designed to learn and then teach others. Pay it forward. Pass it on.
When we were done sharing at our table, Alex asked if anyone wanted to share with the whole group. Denise raised her hand and shared what I had said about buckets and conduits, that our lives were designed to be a pipeline for God’s love to flow through. And now I know that Alex shared that with Steve Norman and Steve just shared that with everyone at Vision Night. I was a conduit and so was Denise and so was Alex and so was Steve.
And, all of a sudden, right there in the middle of my kitchen, chopping garlic and onions for homemade sloppy joe sauce, God spoke to me. In that simple thought that Steve shared, God reminded me that I am making a difference, I do matter and God still speaks.